Has anyone asked them if they've been, oh, I don't know, lynched or had their homes and churches burned down or members of their families shot...

That is seriously offensive. Throwing fandom shit at each other like crazy monkeys is one thing, but like you said, there's a line that you just don't cross. I remember reading about something similar happening in HP fandom when one ship compared their place in fandom to slavery. The mind truly boggles.