He says to Buffy in SR, when she says that her personal life is none of his business, "It used to be." WHEN?
Very true! I remember in Amends when Xander attempted to apologise for being so hostile about Angel, and acknowledged that he hadn't made it very easy for Buffy to talk to him about Angel (I think that was Amends?) As you say, it was usually Willow that she turned too for relationship problems. If Buffy had cried on Xander's lap in The Prom over Angel breaking up with her, or if it was Xander that Buffy talked her Angel feelings through with in THLOD after Parker, then no doubt that would have just been used by fandom as a example of how unfair Buffy is to reject nice guy Xander and cry about the bad guys that she's dating to him!
Actually I can't think of many particularly close moments that she and Xander shared in the high school years especially, if anything it seemed like quite an awkward ~this doesn't usually happen with us~ moment when Buffy got upset over Theresa's death in Phases and hugs Xander, overall their interaction was more just that of buddies if that makes sense? Close friends sure, but not really someone that Xander should have ever expected to confide in him about who she's currently sleeping with, even if it wasn't a vampire.
Oh that scene is on my list of "great moments in btvs WTF-ery". Hello? Telling her someday she'll find a guy who appreciates her is the complete opposite of his ITW speech!
Ironically, in an episode before ITW (Shadow? LtF?) when Riley doesn't show up for patrol one night as promised, it's Xander who makes a cutting observation about that the next day, acknowledging that Riley was not "reliable". So ITW is bookended by two very contradictory statements from Xander. I don't know whether to call it "Xander is a complex guy" or "the writing from one episode to the next seems disjointed, did the writers watch the episodes they didn't write?"
I know, right! All I can think is that maybe it's that thing where you secretly do think of a friend as being really self-involved and awful with guys, but then when she starts beating herself up over that, then you have an automatic "don't put yourself down, you're not like that at all" kind of response? *g*
Actually the Willow-Anya clash infuriates me - they're fighting over Xander, basically; just as Willow and Cordy clashed over Xander. The ordinary nerd whom women fight over is a TOTAL fanboy fantasy.
And yep, I feel like a lot of Xander's relationships are like that. Cordelia was the most popular girl at school falling hardest for him and getting her heart broken when he cheated on her, Xander's best friend who can't get over him, even Faith (kind of a dicey example I know because of the later rape attempt) in The Zeppo is a pretty typical fantasy of a hot girl seducing a virgin and taking his virginity in one amazing night of passion. Then there's Anya stripping down in THLOD and quickly becoming rather obsessively devoted to him, with Buffy making the crack in ITW that Xander has no room to talk about her and Riley's relationship when he lets Anya follow him around like a puppy and treats her as a convienience. And of course it's ultimately Xander who rejects Anya because he doesn't want to get as serious as she does, and Anya is incredibly jealous in First Date when Xander gets a hot new date when she's still not over him etc
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Very true! I remember in Amends when Xander attempted to apologise for being so hostile about Angel, and acknowledged that he hadn't made it very easy for Buffy to talk to him about Angel (I think that was Amends?) As you say, it was usually Willow that she turned too for relationship problems. If Buffy had cried on Xander's lap in The Prom over Angel breaking up with her, or if it was Xander that Buffy talked her Angel feelings through with in THLOD after Parker, then no doubt that would have just been used by fandom as a example of how unfair Buffy is to reject nice guy Xander and cry about the bad guys that she's dating to him!
Actually I can't think of many particularly close moments that she and Xander shared in the high school years especially, if anything it seemed like quite an awkward ~this doesn't usually happen with us~ moment when Buffy got upset over Theresa's death in Phases and hugs Xander, overall their interaction was more just that of buddies if that makes sense? Close friends sure, but not really someone that Xander should have ever expected to confide in him about who she's currently sleeping with, even if it wasn't a vampire.
Oh that scene is on my list of "great moments in btvs WTF-ery". Hello? Telling her someday she'll find a guy who appreciates her is the complete opposite of his ITW speech!
Ironically, in an episode before ITW (Shadow? LtF?) when Riley doesn't show up for patrol one night as promised, it's Xander who makes a cutting observation about that the next day, acknowledging that Riley was not "reliable". So ITW is bookended by two very contradictory statements from Xander. I don't know whether to call it "Xander is a complex guy" or "the writing from one episode to the next seems disjointed, did the writers watch the episodes they didn't write?"
I know, right! All I can think is that maybe it's that thing where you secretly do think of a friend as being really self-involved and awful with guys, but then when she starts beating herself up over that, then you have an automatic "don't put yourself down, you're not like that at all" kind of response? *g*
Actually the Willow-Anya clash infuriates me - they're fighting over Xander, basically; just as Willow and Cordy clashed over Xander. The ordinary nerd whom women fight over is a TOTAL fanboy fantasy.
And yep, I feel like a lot of Xander's relationships are like that. Cordelia was the most popular girl at school falling hardest for him and getting her heart broken when he cheated on her, Xander's best friend who can't get over him, even Faith (kind of a dicey example I know because of the later rape attempt) in The Zeppo is a pretty typical fantasy of a hot girl seducing a virgin and taking his virginity in one amazing night of passion. Then there's Anya stripping down in THLOD and quickly becoming rather obsessively devoted to him, with Buffy making the crack in ITW that Xander has no room to talk about her and Riley's relationship when he lets Anya follow him around like a puppy and treats her as a convienience. And of course it's ultimately Xander who rejects Anya because he doesn't want to get as serious as she does, and Anya is incredibly jealous in First Date when Xander gets a hot new date when she's still not over him etc