I wonder if the Troika from season 6 were possibly the writers attempt to finally be honest about what it really means to use magic to control a woman

I doubt it considering how often they used that trope. They seem to make a special distinction between what the Troika did and the goings on of W/T, Xander, etc. If they were actually making a definitive statement on that in Dead Things, I don't think Him would have been played so much for comedy.