After the high school years Xander just felt pointless a lot of the time, and IMO realistically Buffy and Willow probably would have drifted away from him and he would have started doing his own thing more.

And I know what you mean, there are plenty of bad characters I like, Walter White for one or Spike from Buffy, but other fans often seem to assume that means that you're an apologist who excuses everything that the character has done. But it usually just means I find the character interesting and well-written :shrugs: