:nods: And people always have to go to the extreme example if someone dares bring up that it's creating a hostile environment. A mod at said community is now saying that those comments concern her because it's not fair to expect people to not call others out for offensive comments, and yet no one said not to say anything. It's the way that people dogpile others that's especially shitty, as if they're trying to gain cool points at who can act the most outraged

Man even with apologies, it feels like the natural thing to say "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings" or "I'm sorry if I offended you", but that will get you jumped all over because you're supposed to actually say "I'm sorry that I was hurtful", "I'm sorry that I was offensive". And you cannot expect new members to understand all this, but by golly won't they get leapt on by about 20 posters for a "faux apology" if they do dare to word something the wrong way